I was born with a shot glass in my hand
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Dude I need help. What word is complimentary, but sounds like "chunky"?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Between the plague n the counterfeit drugs we brought back from mexico I'm not thinking too highly of their country right now. Screw mexican homeless men.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
Randomize