I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
You're such an expert partier. I feel like 22-year-old recent graduates should have to intern with you.
I'm a pro at the other 9-5
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
How does it feel to date your dad?
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
