come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
It feels like eating ice cream while riding a unicorn over a rainbow waterfall made of glitter.
That is possibly the gayest thing that was ever thought of by anyone anywhere.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
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