is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
I feel like when purchasing hard liquor on a Monday I also need to buy a happy 21st bday card to not seem so pathetic
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
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