so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
I'll just wear something slutty to the liquor store and hope for the best
that's your solution for everything
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
Randomize
