Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
she has a fucking refrigerator full of four loko and is charging 15 dollars a can.... she is like a mini donald trump
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
The fact that you screamed, "Alf is my spirit animal!" is proof enough that we're too old for peyote.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
Randomize
