What are you drinking?
Shitty Coors light. OM NOM NOM TASTES LIKE HIGH SCHOOL
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I always make inappropriate sexual decisions during the holidays
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
