so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
bottle of wine in one hand cigar in the other. 5 am. topless on our fire escape. and she cleaned our bathroom... i like his new girlfriend.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
A 5 day bender that ended with refusing to pay my bar tab before I left the city. I offered to send them a selfie so they knew to never let me back in.
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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