I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can I get a DUI with a shopping cart? I've nearly hit 2 displays and little girl...
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm wrapped up in my sheets like a burrito. Carry me
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
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