i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
