I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So does it count as really great road-head if he ran over 3 mailboxes before realizing he was off the road?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Randomize
