i think i have herpe
just one?
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
Brian got his first ever blow job last night. We should make him a scrapbook.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
The awkward moment your booty call shows up to the Mexican restaurant and realizes you just picked burritos over pussy
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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