the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
she peed. on the sidewalk. it is 2 pm. Help.
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
You kept purposefully giving me wrong directions, laughing, then yelling at me for taking directions from a drunk person.
A person can only vomit Fireball so much before they quit it forever
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Randomize
