Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
He keeps the condoms in his bible. I guess stairs or elevator, we're getting to hell one way or another.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
You know what's worse than asking for the morning after pill? Asking for the morning after pill in a sketchy hospital in a foreign country where no one speaks English.
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
Randomize
