Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
Honestly, it's not that easy picking a Saturday night outfit that can translate to Palm Sunday mass. Priorities.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
my brother has friends over and I can hear one of them screaming from the basement "BREATHE. FILL YOUR LUNGS. LIVE YOUR LIFE." and it sounds like he's doing some motivational speaking down there but that's actually just how he encourages ppl to take bong hits
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
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