so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
I queefed so loud it echoed.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
Well I typed "penicillin a" into the search engine and before I could finish "penicillin and drinking" popped up. Google knows me too well.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
Randomize
