3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
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