me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
if a CSI technician examined our hotel room with a black light he'd think we hit the Pulse button a DNA blender without a lid
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
Everytime I give him head I make him rub my back. Teamwork at it's finest.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
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