He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
Soo....this goes on the list of odd coincidences. My gyno calls me while I'm going at it, leaves me a message. I check it later... thank God I tested negative.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
Apparently 'check out this motherfucker' is not an appropriate greeting to use in the vicinity of sitting united states senators. Who knew
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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