i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
Remember that dream I told you about where I shit out my own skeleton? I had it again last night.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
We could get her a gift basket of Xanax l
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
