How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
I started making breakfast to subdue the hangover and last of the shrooms and only got as far as eating a half frozen pierogi out of a dixie cup.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Randomize
