It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You sat on a wall pretending to be a gargoyle before shouting "batman!" and jumping at me
I'm the drunk Des Moines deserves, but not the one it needs
If I shaved my pubic hair into a heart for valentine's day how much would you judge me?
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
So she was amazing, that's what. Idk if it was the blow or the blowjob, but both my heads are still tingling.
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