I am puke
rough night. sneezed a watermelon seed this morning and apparently I drunk dialed my boss for a ride home. twice.
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Holy shit dude........stairs
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
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