Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
Miss Michigan hasn't even been Miss USA for 24hrs and already stripper pole pics are surfacing. Classy.
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
Remember the 3 things that are off limits? They're fair game if you get here in the next 5 minutes
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
SOME BITCH AT THE HOSTEL STOLE MY NUT BUTTER THERE WILL BE BLOOD
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize
