oh fat girl friday strikes again...
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
