I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
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