Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
You're gonna be sprawled out basking in the sun working on your tan like a ridiculously hot iguana, and I'm gonna be here bundled up in about 72 layers just so I don't freeze my dick off looking like the Michelin man's gay cousin
i apologize, I may have called you an iguana
Mistakes were made
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I woke up under a house in Key West
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
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