in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
The cop actually kicked the bitches out of the cab so we could get ours. I flipped them all off as the door was shutting. That drunk.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
Just went over my top ten highlight reel with that guy I'm fucking. It was like we were sports announcers. But about sex.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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