uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
When I asked if she spit or swallow she replied "I never learned how to spit"
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
shut up i haven't hooked up with anyone since 45 minutes ago
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
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