did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Partying with them is like having your dick stapled to your left nostril
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
I'm content with our "friends with accidental benefits" situation.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
