On imdb the canadians say It's amazing
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
So I come back home and a huge flock of enormous vultures are on my roof
They're waiting for you to die
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
