Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
im drinking this country out of the recession.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Packing up everything in the dorm. Silly bands to unused condom ratio is ridiculous.
I woke up with the suicide hotline number saved as 'Hot Guy Josh'
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I need to you to send me drugs via FedEx
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Randomize
