then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
You know it was a good weekend when; you leave a bi-lingual letter of apology on top of a stack of cash for hotel housekeeping.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
There's a fly in my room repeatedly throwing itself at my window, and I feel it's really symbolic of what I want to do with my future
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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