you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
after the cops left he pulled the weed out of his ass and we smoked it
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
and you wish you could be eating a cookie right now. but all you get to eat is a penis
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
Randomize
