I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
I am sitting on my kitchen floor drunk with a bottle of jose cuervo, tryin to make cinnamon rolls and write a paper. I love college
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
YOU RECOMMENDED ME TO THIS GIRL BECAUSE SHES A STRIPPER AND YOU KNOW MY WEAKNESS FOR STRIPPERS WITH CHILDREN.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Randomize
