The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
Evvvvvveryone knows we hooked up in the DJ booth. People call it the BJ booth now. I've created a legacy
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
I've never had someone have to dis-arm themselves before I sucked their dick prior to that
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
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