he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
tell your sister to shave her snatch
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
He picked up a chick with a line about the price of used cars in Sri Lanka and developing economies. Step it up.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
If anyone needs me I'll be in the bathtub, eating fast food and shooting straight vodka while I seriously evaluate my life choices and cry.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
Randomize
