i saw a guy balancing a black cat on his head last nite
get a pic
i tried he was too far away anotherguy was walking with paper bags on his feet explain that
i want ur life
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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