also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
How do you tell if you're on the terrorist watch list?
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
I'm at about main and main street
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
