I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
Somehow I managed to make my Dunkin Donuts uniform look slutty. And I'm not even wearing hoops.
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
If you ever tell anyone I offered you boob squeezes for cheetos, I'll kill you
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize
