Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
We were dancing and then he pointed to the club floor and there was money that I dropped everywhere. That was the nicest thing someone has ever done for me.
Randomize
