Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
i've created a new STD.
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
How does one get out of sexting without being rude? I'm trying to watch Downtown Abbey
Randomize
