saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
