first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize