How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Randomize
