Just so you know I would totally fuck you. Does that count as a feeling?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I'm gonna have to fantasize about her dying just to get off.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
i knew it was a party when i saw you sitting on the couch naked with the keg in your lap, still drinking and passing out cups
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