I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
New goal find someone I love enough to use these Japanese pancake flavored condoms on
the guy in front of me in walmart is buying a blowtorch, potato chips, and condoms. I'm curious and horrified at the same time.
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Randomize
