How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
When we were done making out, some guy ran into the room yelling, "I'll save you Brandon! I'll save you!"
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
She's 90% sass and 10% boobs
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
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