I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
Randomize
