Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i tried to knight her with my dick. she said it was unromantic. what an ungrateful attitude for a knight.
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Dude, you passed out sitting straight up AND in mid sentence last night
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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