He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The doctor asked me what height I fell from to hurt my back.. I answered keg height
Ive waited a long time for a girl with prescriptions like yours.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
So I commented on one of his pictures "who do I have to give a full effort blow job to, to get the Ides of March movie poster behind you" he responded with a number that wasn't his. I still texted it. I love that movie.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
