I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
I told him we couldn't hang out because I had strep, he said he's had it once so he couldn't get it again. The sex isn't worth this level of stupidity
How am I supposed to stop smoking pot when girl scout cookies are being sold.
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
