i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
She was giving you that "I really want to blow you but I have to act professional" look. Guaranteed
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
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