I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
So squirting runs in the family.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
The guy next to me on the bus has one hole in his jeans that has over 20 mini dicks drawn on his leg. Classic.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
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