Don't go all Obama on me. George Bush this decision and just do it. Thinking's for the morning after
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
get home. someone threw up in the fishtank last night.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
She yelled "taste the gay rainbow" in a biker bar. She's either brave or fuckin stupid.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Hurry up I'm getting mooned by a hobo
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Randomize
