Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
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