I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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