on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
He told me he was 'pondering the natural wonder that is my ass'
Like, dude. I'm already fucking you, you don't need to wax poetic.
Isn't he wasted enough that he might actually mean it and not just be trying to get you to fuck him without a condom?
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I was told u were the one who could explain to me why i woke up in the running shower, still in my dress and heels
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
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