I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
Just found a condom on my floor from last weekend. 2/2. The scavenger hunt is over.
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I've got to stop being so hungover that I puke in the fine establishments of this glorious town.
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
my mom tells me this morning that i was blasting teach me how to dougie at 2 am last night and refused to leave her room until she dougied with me
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