he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
there was a trapeze. enough said
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
No one likes wet exercise unless it's vigorous sex in the shower
Have you ever given your heart and soul to someone and they turn out to be nothing but a great fuck that makes a mean grilled cheese because same
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
I finished my first whiskey and I'm waiting to have a second one in celebration when your pregnancy test comes back negative
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
