Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
Alex, there's no such thing as a fancy sex store.
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
Let this be a lesson to you, parmesan cheese crumbles are not a good substitute for coffee creamer, no matter how high you are
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
Randomize
